Hey I hope Ive put this in the right area, if not please feel free to move it mods.
So I have a few questions for the people on here who were unfortunately sexually abused.
Basically I want/need to know how to help someone close to me, how I can support her and help her to overcome this? How would you like to be supported by a family member when you needed it then most? How could I help you?
My Mom was molested at a young age by a family member, I dont know all the ins and outs as she doesnt talk about it. Her family cut her off once she accused the family member.
Her eldest sister and her got back in contact a few years back which she was and still is thrilled about. I think its possible the sister also remembers the abuse but again Im not sure.
I can honestly say it has ruined her life! :'( I know she's suicidal on a regular basis and is just sick and tired of life....I dont know what to do or say in order to help! :(
I can only imagine the ordeal she is going through on a daily basis.
Her family acting like she doesnt exist complete cuts her up :(
Sometimes I feel like just ringing my aunts and uncles and asking them what the hell happened and to please explain why they turned their back on her, because she did nothing wrong to deserve it!
Recently both my sister and I started therapy & I talked to my Mom about it all and Im glad to say she has made a new therapy appointment :) :) :)
How can I help her with therapy and ensure she sticks it out?
She attempted therapy before but never made it through many sessions.
Im worried that she will drop out then resort to alcohol again because everything will be stirred up.
I live far away and so cannot keep a close eye on her.
We talk a lot on the phone but I dont know what to do or say...I dont know how to help her. How to convince her life is worth living without feeling hypocritical!! (I struggle with these thoughts myself)
I dont want to be making her feel worse but every attempt I make to try and get her to open up seems to do just that.
I told her about recoveryourlife and how it can be helpful just to get those thoughts and feelings out there anonymously. Or how discovering so many others are going through the same thing can make you feel less alienated and more understood.
It was after that chat she made the therapy appointment which Im really happy about and feel its a massive step in the right direction.
I guess what Id like to know is how I can help keep her moving in this direction?
Should I offer to go to her appointment with her? For moral support?
Should I keep enquiring about therapy or should I let her bring it up if she wants to and not mention it otherwise?
Would I be terribly wrong to contact the family and speak to them about it? I feel like I have a right to know the full truth since it ****ed up my life and my sisters too!
I would also like to see the creep prosecuted and he doesnt have many years left. I would like her family to acknowledge what she suffered and to support her! Have many of you prosecuted your abuser? How did you feel afterwards? I understand the whole experience would be terribly hard to deal with ...but are you happy you brought it to court? Did it help your recovery in the end?
Id really appreciate any insights you could give on all this because I need to know whats the best way to go about it all from someone who has been there themselves and can understand how she is feeling.
Even just giving me a few pointers on what things NOT to say would be good.
Shes a great woman with a heart of gold, anyone who really knows her will tell you that. Her resorting to alcohol to deal with it all has brought its own problems too which she gets down on herself about. I want to help her cope better so she doesnt use booze as a crutch and can finally move on with her life. Any help is truly appreciated!! <3
So I have a few questions for the people on here who were unfortunately sexually abused.
Basically I want/need to know how to help someone close to me, how I can support her and help her to overcome this? How would you like to be supported by a family member when you needed it then most? How could I help you?
My Mom was molested at a young age by a family member, I dont know all the ins and outs as she doesnt talk about it. Her family cut her off once she accused the family member.
Her eldest sister and her got back in contact a few years back which she was and still is thrilled about. I think its possible the sister also remembers the abuse but again Im not sure.
I can honestly say it has ruined her life! :'( I know she's suicidal on a regular basis and is just sick and tired of life....I dont know what to do or say in order to help! :(
I can only imagine the ordeal she is going through on a daily basis.
Her family acting like she doesnt exist complete cuts her up :(
Sometimes I feel like just ringing my aunts and uncles and asking them what the hell happened and to please explain why they turned their back on her, because she did nothing wrong to deserve it!
Recently both my sister and I started therapy & I talked to my Mom about it all and Im glad to say she has made a new therapy appointment :) :) :)
How can I help her with therapy and ensure she sticks it out?
She attempted therapy before but never made it through many sessions.
Im worried that she will drop out then resort to alcohol again because everything will be stirred up.
I live far away and so cannot keep a close eye on her.
We talk a lot on the phone but I dont know what to do or say...I dont know how to help her. How to convince her life is worth living without feeling hypocritical!! (I struggle with these thoughts myself)
I dont want to be making her feel worse but every attempt I make to try and get her to open up seems to do just that.
I told her about recoveryourlife and how it can be helpful just to get those thoughts and feelings out there anonymously. Or how discovering so many others are going through the same thing can make you feel less alienated and more understood.
It was after that chat she made the therapy appointment which Im really happy about and feel its a massive step in the right direction.
I guess what Id like to know is how I can help keep her moving in this direction?
Should I offer to go to her appointment with her? For moral support?
Should I keep enquiring about therapy or should I let her bring it up if she wants to and not mention it otherwise?
Would I be terribly wrong to contact the family and speak to them about it? I feel like I have a right to know the full truth since it ****ed up my life and my sisters too!
I would also like to see the creep prosecuted and he doesnt have many years left. I would like her family to acknowledge what she suffered and to support her! Have many of you prosecuted your abuser? How did you feel afterwards? I understand the whole experience would be terribly hard to deal with ...but are you happy you brought it to court? Did it help your recovery in the end?
Id really appreciate any insights you could give on all this because I need to know whats the best way to go about it all from someone who has been there themselves and can understand how she is feeling.
Even just giving me a few pointers on what things NOT to say would be good.
Shes a great woman with a heart of gold, anyone who really knows her will tell you that. Her resorting to alcohol to deal with it all has brought its own problems too which she gets down on herself about. I want to help her cope better so she doesnt use booze as a crutch and can finally move on with her life. Any help is truly appreciated!! <3
